She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
