He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
