do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
