Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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