3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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