If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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