I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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