Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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