I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
