is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
