alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
