Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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