I heard we made out
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize