Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
