Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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