How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Girls should come with a carfax report
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
