How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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