Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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