she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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