New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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