i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
