Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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