Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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