So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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