Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
