But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
