my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
