If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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