Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
