My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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