Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
