These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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