I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize