I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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