bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
