THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
