She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize