ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
