do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
