hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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