"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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