We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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