it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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