it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
