I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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