I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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