Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
