and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
