So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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