Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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