$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
