hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
