I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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