And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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