with your own penis?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
