My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
