You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
