Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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