Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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