this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Im part way to drunk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
