my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize