Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
