im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish you could order shots online.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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