Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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